The phone on the bar rang only once before the bartender answered. “Dirty Dick’s Dockside, we don’t deliver and don’t know nuthin’ about the Resistance.” He listened to the phone then held the receiver out and shouted, “Any one here taking calls for Spider-Man?”

The only reply was silence, punctuated by a urinal flushing in the men’s room.

“Nope, no Spidey here,” he said into the phone. He listened again, “No, not even a fake gold one,” and hung up.

“Hey, that call was for me!” Fake Gold Spidey exclaimed, wandering back from the restroom. “Who was it?” he demanded. Ben Reilly was already at the bar, but only shrugged.

Classic Spider-Man settled on a barstool and ordered a club soda, spritzed with lemon. He turned to Fake Gold Spidey. “Do I know you?” He asked.

“Don’t start that crap again,” said Fake Gold Spidey.

“No, really,” Spider-Man insisted, “my history has been revamped. I can’t keep track of who I should know and who I don’t. Am I supposed to know you?”

Then he shook his head, “Oh, forget it, Faker. I’ll let Brand New Spider-Man worry about it. Look at him over there, with his happy-day attitude and C3 feet. His soul doesn’t look very tormented to me. In fact, he’s chatting up Jessica Drew! She doesn’t know not that slacker, she thinks he’s me! Barkeep, mix me a double and a drink for the lady in red.”

“Sit down!” Snapped Fake Gold Spidey, who was still peeved about missing the only phone call he’d ever received. “You’re not going to hit on Spider-Woman.”

“Yeah, Peter,” Ben Reilly agreed, “we all know you love Mary Jane, so chill. You’re not the only one lost in continuity.”

Simple Minds belted out of the jukebox, singing “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”. Fake Gold Spidey stared into his beer and wondered what that call was about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the secret headquarters of the Second MiniMate Institute of Research and Knowledge resistance cell, Dr. Banner was only half listening to his colleague, Dr. Richards.

“We performed conductivity tests early on,” Dr. Richards was saying to Doc Brown, “and the results were quite disappointing. The JP1000 will not handle that level of electrical power, regardless of its velocity.

“Now,” he continued, “about your application to join the SMIRK fellowship –”

“Great Scott! Construction cranes!” Doc Brown burst out. “Of course! The broken economy has forced work stoppage downtown. If we tie three abandoned cranes together with a bungee cord –”

“Dr. Brown!” Dr. Richards interrupted. “About your application? What, exactly, do you hold a doctorate in?”

Peter Parker burst into the room. “JP is awake! He’s up and about! Although, after Emo’s discussion on pension plans, he’s on the verge of relapsing.”

“Congratulations, Dr. Baltar,” Dr. Banner said, “your investigations must have triggered some sort of response routine in JP1000.”

“Ah…yes. Well,” agreed Dr. Baltar, his mind racing with suspicions.

“Now, Peter,” Dr. Richards interjected, “does this news truly warrant interrupting Dr. Brown’s interview?”

The aspiring geek scuffed a toe against the floor. “But JP…no, Dr. Richards, my passion overcame sound judgment.”

“Exactly. The JP1000 unit has been inactive for a year, no one will notice its sudden awakening now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shocktrooper was fast, but not fast enough. When the Comm Room door banged open and the Overlord swept in, he certainly saw the trooper’s screen switch away from SnapTiteBabes.com.

Jean-Pierre, Supreme Overlord and Ruler of the World, spoke dangerously low, “Trooper, if you value your optical orbs, you will have one excellent reason for paging me.”

“Sir!” The trooper jumped to attention. “Of course, sir! We recorded a brief transmission from the fake original Da Bomb #90 TD robot. I can put it on the big screen if you want, sir.”

“That automated scrap heap hasn’t called in for months. What does it want now?”

Want, sir?” The trooper hesitated. “I don’t think it was checking in, I think the transmission was a glitch.”

“I didn’t ask you to think, trooper,” the Overlord rumbled, “I asked you to play the recording.”

“Sir! Right away, sir!” The shocktrooper tapped his keyboard and audio spilled from the speakers. It sounded like a mob of children chanting.

“Where’s the picture?” Jean-Pierre growled.

“It’s there, sir, it’s just black. Like Da Bomb is in a garbage bin or something…”

The children sang out, “He’s mean! He’s clean! Macho Cinque’s gone green!”

Macho Cinque’s deep voice answered them, “Gracias, los niños. Recall what we learned today.”

The children yelled some more, then their noise dissolved into chaos and faded off. After a pause the camera view tumbled horribly and daylight streamed in. Macho Cinque’s face loomed uncomfortably close in the picture.

“Hey, Roberto, buenas news!” the neighborhood hero said, “Una call come during our show: Heypee-1000 está fuera de su coma! Oh, su helmet is come off, I can assist you, yes?”

“Zzzt…Leader…”

“Sí, mi amigo, –” abruptly the signal cut off.

Empty static hissed and the shocktrooper waited very quietly for his supreme ruler’s reaction.

“It’s time,” was all the Overlord said before swirling out the door and bellowing for Wormtongue.

By Jatta Pake

How relevant are polls from 2006 to collectors in 2008? Who knows? But I’ve long promised a round-up of the various polls, and I vow to give them to you. This entry covers Poll #2 on Minimate Headquarters from 2006. Future articles will continue coverage along with future round ups of poll results from 2007.

Packaging of the For a Few Dollars More box set, courtesy of Diamond Select Toys.

By Dragon

Minimate and western fans rejoiced today when Diamond Select Toys unveiled the packaging and final product for the For a Few Dollars More box set. The sheer amount of accessories seems to fall in line with the latest trend of Minimate sets. For a Few Dollars More is schedule to arrive on the specialty market this March.

Special thanks to Samwise Gamgee for spotting the news on DST’s Myspace account.

Taskmaster and US Agent from the Previews exclusive Marvel Minimate set.

By Dragon

Hello and welcome to another edition of Minimate Review on Minimate Headquarters. This time, we’ll be experimenting with a new format as we review the recently released US Agent and Taskmaster set, an exclusive Marvel release from Previews. Shall we?

US Agent

John Walker served for a time as Captain America before taking the guise of US Agent. Cap’s influence can be seen in the costume design, which is represented very well in the Minimate style. Despite serving as essentially a repaint of the classic Captain America Minimate, US Agent goes a great deal to distance itself from the original. The entire figure is colored in a dark gunmetal gray. Despite the almost black coloring, this does not stop the inclusion of detail, as the entire shirt is covered in a chainmail pattern, with muscle detail applied to the back. The pants also sport detail lines running vertically down the legs. The boots and band around one leg match the character’s latest appearance in the post-Civil War universe. Interestingly enough, removing the mask reveals a surprisingly detailed face with hair, though the hole in the head takes away from the look somewhat. US Agent also attempts to improve upon the old Captain America figure in the form of a retooled mask and shield. The mask features a peg, like most of the latest releases in the Minimate line, helping secure it to the head. The arm band for the shield has also been redone to stay at the end of the arm, rather than slide up and obstruct the elbow. My only real concern for this figure is the belt and the shield. The belt is a reuse of the one sculpted for Blade, and though it suits the character nicely, I’d have liked to see a little more work done on it. Though the belt buckle has been expertly done in silver, the grenade is the same color red as the rest of the belt, which seems a little odd. Also, the hole used to secure Blade’s boomerang type accessory is still present, despite having no purpose for this figure. Finally, the shield is cast in a somewhat flimsier plastic, making it warp when constrained in the packaging. Overall, US Agent sheds the stigma of being a simple repaint and is an excellent figure, marred only by a few minor production issues.

Taskmaster

Taskmaster serves as an expert fighter who can mimic the techniques of any fighter he sees. Given this ability, he has been known to use a great deal of different equipment over the years. Thus, it comes as no surprise that the Taskmaster Minimate comes with a great deal of accessories. Equipped with a bow and arrow, a pistol, a knife, a shield, and a sword, Taskmaster is ready for just about anything you can throw at him. The figure itself is expertly crafted, packing a great deal of detail into such a tiny frame. The work on the skull and the shirt pale in comparison to the look of the shield, which sports Taskmaster’s trademark ‘T’ on a shiny metallic surface. Overall, Taskmaster, much like US Agent, easily overcomes the stigma of being a simple part-reuse figure and excels in the level of detail and sheer amount of accessories.

Concept art of the Cylon Pilot and Pegasus Six, courtesy of Diamond Select Toys.

By Dragon

News broke earlier this week that Big Bad Toy Store was offering a new assortment of Cylons to tie in with the Battlestar Galactica: Razor movie. This news was confirmed on Tuesday when Diamond Select Toys posted concept art of some of the new Cylons.

Check out the full press release on DST’s website.

Thanks to Deadpool for the heads up.

“It says here,” Emo announced to the comatose JP1000, “that eBay is filing for Chapter 11. It seems the extreme cost of shipping these days has depressed the collecting spirit. That and some user called supremeoverlord keeps outbidding everyone on anything interesting.

“Well,” he continued, “I certainly hope those eBay employees set aside some of their income for a rainy day. Even in a depressed economy, certain investment vehicles can provide financial security for…” Emo trailed off as he gazed at JP1000’s slack face.

He leaned forward and stared intently at JP1000, trying to see beyond the blank features. “I miss you, JP. What are you thinking about? Is there anything going on in your head?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six found herself in a fantasy world not of her making and was awed by the cheerful tackiness of it all. There were no villains beating and mangling until the breaks had fractures. There were no megalomaniacs intent on subjugating every free soul. Nor were there scientists researching unholy theories on the limits of corporeal cohesion. There were no heroes strutting and glowing and demeaning the ordinary citizen.

Instead, songbirds of every color sang brightly and squirrels scampered and chattered with happy energy. Fat and furry bumbly-bees tumbled amongst the small flowers in the lawn. They had no stingers or other pokey bits, but if you sat quite still their buzzing would tickle your bare toes.

Six pictured herself in something blue and clinging, cut dangerously low in the back. Nothing happened — she remained dressed in a fuzzy pink sweater. “Well that’s irritating,” she muttered.

Six looked over at the sun-bathing JP1000. “There you are!” she called. “Every one’s been looking for you!”

“And here you are,” JP1000 replied, “another hot mama come to watch over me.”

Six hesitated, confused by his answer, then strode across and settled in the green grass next to JP1000. “I’m here to guide you,” she said with her best teasing smile, “to take you to the peak of…your potential. JP, you could be so much out there, where every one is waiting.”

“Why would I want to go Outside?” JP wondered. “Here I have friends,” he gestured at the animals around them, “and helpers,” he said, looking directly at Six.

“Because you have a unique destiny,” Six said intently.

She leaned in against JP1000 and laid a hand upon him. “Your unique nature makes you the perfect messiah for two different races. I can help you can reach the pinnacle, JP. I can do so many things for you. I can do,” her touch became a caress, “whatever you want me to.”

“Yeah? Can you make me some cocoa and a grilled cheese sandwich?” JP1000 asked.

Six seemed to hiccup slightly. She ignored the bumbly-bees tickling her toes and instead moistened her lips. “Of course. But first, there’s something I want to do for you, do to you…” she whispered.

“Wake up!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Desperately Seeking Susan poster from New York Toy Fair 2007. Picture provided by Figures.com.

By Dragon

Minimate fans joined with Madonna fans and heralds of the impending apocalypse to rejoice at the news revealed in the latest installment of Diamond Select Toys’ E-Spectrum newsletter:

Next month’s American International Toy Fair will see the debut of all new action figure waves, box sets, statues and more – including the upcoming Star Trek action figure two-packs and a special treat for fans Desperately Seeking the first ever Susan Minimate!

DSS is just the latest in a growing collection of movie properties making the transition to the 2 inch scale. While the expanding reach of the Minimate movie licenses is nothing particularly new, some of the choices seem a little…odd. Rocky - A collection of mini boxers to clobber each other senseless? Sign me up. Back to the Future - A cult movie classic, with some awesome accessories? I’m sold. For a Few Dollars More - A bunch of cowboys with guns and the like? Yes please. Silence of the Lambs - Hannibal Lector? That’s all I needed to hear. Desperately Seeking Susan - Amnesiac Madonna wandering the world as a drifter named Susan? Hmmm.

I’m not knocking the choice, and I’m always up for new Minimates, even if they represent a property that I’m not particularly familiar or thrilled with. Surely the boys at Diamond Select wouldn’t invest into a property that they thought would not generate a profit, so there must be a market for this particular license somewhere. It’s just from an outsiders perspective, it seems like something from out in left field. Only time will tell.

By Jatta Pake

How relevant are polls from 2006 to collectors in 2008? Who knows? But I’ve long promised a round-up of the various polls, and I vow to give them to you. This entry covers Poll #1 on Minimate Headquarters from 2006. Future articles will continue coverage along with future round ups of poll results from 2007.

Image from mwctoys.com!Poll #1 (July 16, 2006): What should be next for Minimates?

I’ve listed five more auctions including a complete set of tubed Bruce Lee Minimates, a complete set of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Minimates, one case each of Modern and Classic Cylons, and an Ultimate Avengers 2 DVD with Captain America.

Click here or the pic above to check ‘em out!

-Fujis

By Fujis

Packaged shots of the two classic Battlestar Galactica 5-packs were posted on DST’s MySpace page yesterday. Glad to see that these are seeing the light of day especially Matt “Iron-Cow” Cauley’s Muffit (how’s that for a euphemism!) and glad that they are continuing with the large bubble style card that the BTTF and 24 lines are using. They’re much more visually appealing than the ones used for the Cylon 5-pack and Defenders box set.

Now is it only a matter of time before we see vehicles for this and the modern line? I think everyone knows how I feel about vehicles but do you think the BSG lines would benefit from having vehicles? Increased ‘play value’ for sure but retailers were unimpressed by the original “mini-flyer” versions. Is that narrow-mindedness on their part or a good decision based on Minimates failure in mass-market settings in the past? Let us know what you think!

**************************

Click here to see a larger pic on DST’s MySpace page and thanks to minijeff for the heads-up!

Click here to see pics of the original BSG “mini-flyers” over at byyourcommand.net.